Yours Xcruciatingly

For A Little While, For A Little One

2011-09-02T10:54:00.002+05:30

I waited for years to make you real
And see your pretty eyes and touch you and feel
Three quarters and I realized it may be true
That what I had been waiting for
Might just be you
From the door of my home
To the green curtain rooms
I waited for the moment
And hoped you come to me soon
It seemed like forever
Before the day dawned
I saw you come alive
And that pretty yawn
I am sorry my little dream
For I did not know the plan
Years will go by
And hope you will understand
For once and for a little while
My wishes had come true
That I was born to take care of you

Higher Ground

2011-08-26T10:42:00.000+05:30

Wait until the night comes

And I will be around

You will come back crashing here

Down to the ground

I lurk up slowly to your near

I can always be found

You will embrace me and kiss me

And no one will hear a sound

The highs that you hit

Have equal lows beneath

As you discover the highs really quit

Until you want an another hit

Back to the square where only brave dare

You climb up with your spirits

Leaving it all behind

And too afraid to even look down

Wait until the night comes

And I will be around

My name is loneliness

And I will bury you into the ground

Splitting Darkness

2011-03-20T21:19:00.000+05:30

Sucked into a trap of light
For beyond it was the wrath of her
Splitting darkness into two
One just a bit lighter
And the other completely dark
Hoping to survive a little longer
And choosing the lesser evil
To find that the casting spells
Would do damage beyond repair
Scared by the thought of
Being dissolved into a path not seen
Even if darkness surrounds
It can feel the touch of the surrounded
And she is scared for there might be light
That could smother away the darkness
But then she has one question
As to how do I look?
He takes out a mirror
To let darkness see herself
Alas! To see in the mirror she needs light
And asks him to show the light
As the light sinks deep within into her
The world breaks apart
For the night to end and the dawn to come
And since then upon
They meet each other everyday
Smothering each other
As one dissolves into the other

Rise and rise...

2010-12-31T11:32:00.001+05:30

rise and rise until people fall
let them wait let them call
leave them behind for they remind
only of pain and laugh when u fall
when u see urself failing
come join this force all alone
and show them what ur
and for what u've been
there will be a time
when things would split apart
and would shine inside of u
that rockstar

rise and rise until the skies disappear
and there remains no fear
for once remind urself about this one life
and all the joys and pains of a strife
when u see urself back naked
u would be born again
to learn back how to walk
and then to run
don't then ever look back
and make ur own road in dreams
and make them come real

Second Hand Love

2010-10-29T23:43:00.000+05:30

your second hand love
i can feel it from above
the more the deeper i look
shallow i feel as a cheap book
still i wait for u to show
the feeling that once used 2 glow
ur smell still makes me feel so good
but ur touch is a lie under the hood
am still walking the road along with u
may be i can keep up with u
as the yellow milestones make up my years
and the path covered with raindrop tears
your second hand love
i can feel it from above
a bleeding heart of a dead white dove

Missed

2010-10-28T20:39:00.002+05:30

staring at the other cars
going by the way
the night was getting closer
and the time slipping away
things that i would never do
or thoughts i would ever think
may be u would want me 2
show me the way

clinging on 2 just one finger
wanting 2 get in close
was that just a cute thing
or a thorn within the rose
gasping for just one more moment
wanting 2 stop the clock
but the road sign ahead of me
was the place i had 2 be

catching your fading glimpse
as u walk away
this defeating feeling never sinks
for it would never be this way
as much as i am wanting 2
is it the same on other side
but the time passed with the changing view
as i missed u with u

Dream Stars

2010-10-10T16:15:00.000+05:30

Waiting for the stars to come out

And then finding the silver light

Shining through the skin of a perfect angel

Falling over the threaded blanket of dreams

Shattering it all as my soul screams

They scatter all over the place

Of my time continuum

Waiting for some more time

To come together

Like a birds feathers and fly

I walk back to my room

Where someone was waiting and wanting you soon

While my soul regroups

Let my mind fly over to the darker side

And come over with no bounds

Waiting for who makes a call

Hope you never see your dreams fall

For there might be a hope of stars

Covered beneath your facade

Let them show, let them go

Chocolate Stains

2010-10-05T02:12:00.000+05:30

As if there was nothing in the beginning
And the stars were taking up shape
There were no birds singing
While the outlines got drawn
Second after second came out violent colors
Out of the color black
The smell of your flavors
Could cause a subtle heart attack
Though transparent showed your mind
Rays could still not get through
May be it was sunny on the other side
Or your trapped feeling wanting to thaw from a cold ice blue
It evolved with time and it still is
New animals taking shape
On the whims of a wish
Short of breath
Out of water
Was a dying fish
Frozen was the time
But only for some moments
As you left behind chocolate stains
On my bed sheets

It was the night...

2010-04-28T21:10:00.000+05:30

I could move you with my fingertips
I could feel you in the air
I could hear a hear beat skip
And touch your soul in despair

There were always so many possibilities
Like chances came out of nowhere
There was no insane politics
Everything seemed to be so fair

I can't remember the night when it all happened
And the morning sun would never be the same
Happy people appear all saddened
And my high head now walks in shame

I do remember a few things
That I had a few songs to sing
I think I have something to confide
That it was the night when my songs died

Am I?

2009-01-31T01:18:00.000+05:30

where i can smell the sand
and hear the cries of solitude
where i can see myself
holding on to the tree
that stood right behind the door
that opened up to those mornings
where the sun could just walk in
and say hi
when i could feel the pleasure
of singing to myself
when there was a sense of time
that would rhyme
to the tune of a burning fire
of that innocent desire
and then came knocking down
the notion of maturity
that pulled down the whole kingdom
of mine
no longer was i the only one
wanting to reign in my flights of freedom
coming out of a simple
touch of a hand
but was surrounded by
this ever evading moving target
of being someone
of being somewhere
now at times
a tune somewhere playing
can strike to a sense that once
would make me walk out
and here i am now
trying to make sense of
of freedom

Mystery Mist

2007-06-27T12:03:00.000+05:30

Breaking the veil of the mystery mist
Of being back again and being kissed
For there was no business for the law
As it was laid down to be broken

Where in the house of fire
Ran amok the raging horses
Run away or get trampled
For there were no choices

As skin was the fashion around
And the background noises and the breathing sound
The lost treasure was buried deep
And deep in you it was found

Mind took over the body
And friction ran dry
And won the person with the fury
Leaving behind the laces an injury

When sometime again you'll take a walk
Into the dark alleys of the park
You will find traces in a gist
Of the veil of the mystery mist

Not just another number

2007-05-29T15:32:00.000+05:30

As the city slept
There was a fire in a room
And the sparks turning into flames
With every motion and a move
Mirror on the wall
Multiplied the images
Of burning flesh
As the fire rages
A pen might move on
To fill the pages
With every second passing
Wine of passion ages

As the city slept
None could put out the fire
With the friction of the skin
Every flame went even higher
And as it touched the water
The mirror was a mist
With the fingers of my hand
I write your name
For the fire belongs to you
And not just anyone
The city would sleep again
In an another One O Two One

Whiff

2007-05-10T17:06:00.000+05:30

Count the seconds or count the stars
For it can go on forever
Fake your insides and take the scars
As the line divides the reality and severs

Come and pick the vibrations around
And hear the silence making that sound
Open your arms and don't turn around
Take away my smell as you walk away

Finer than the grains of sand
Thinner than your hair
Waving like a thin strand
Are your particles of romance

Further than the farthest
That time can ever take you
With you would go
The whiff of me

Your eyes

2007-04-26T16:53:00.000+05:30

Like light coming over from a distant star
In a galaxy light-years far
Gleaming past the obstacles around
As the arms of universe surround
The earth sleeps away into a midnight dream

Like an endless ocean with an infinite depth
Where all those who sink might die a lovely death
And fly into that solemn heaven
By the winds of fantasy beneath the wings
The flight takes on forever

Like a butterfly opening and closing
Its wings and the colors of a rainbow
Fluttering past the innocence of flowers
Sipping sweet with an arrow
Into the garden of eden

Like a phenomenon unknown
And an elusive search for the reason
As to why it is like what it is
And as the time shies
I can't escape your eyes

I hate to miss you

2007-04-24T11:54:00.000+05:30

Flashing eyes with a faint smile
A few footsteps seems like walking a mile
Your presence makes me feel my absence
For all that used to be makes no sense
And when your footsteps make a tapping sound
I hate to miss you while you are around

Your hands are tied and fingers not open
Words mean something different than spoken
For all the feelings that escaped your gaps
Got picked up before they fell on the ground
And when I hear your voice lurking around
I hate to miss you while you are around

Do you still wanna shiver while I am around
Do you still wanna feel the weakness in you
And turn around to walk with me
And write down the place where you want me to be
For its black or white with no shades or hues
Cuz I hate to miss you while you are around

Fahrenheit 704

2007-04-11T14:40:00.000+05:30

Come back to my world
For I got more to show you
Touch it again to feel the meltdown
Of Fahrenheit 704
Take this flight for it might be the last one
To the destination fantasy
And pause the reality
For undefined bodies
Can't do much but merge into the smoke
Of dying for
And the burning amber
Simmering on my bed
Put your feet where it belongs
To feel the meltdown
Of Fahrenheit 704
Abrasive linen leaving marks on my skin
Repent none for its your lovely sin
Let me feel the deep waters
For your fish is in there
Let the split shatter
And make you cry for pain
Clasp my fingers strong now
And feel the meltdown
Of Fahrenheit 704

Side B

2007-03-22T19:18:00.000+05:30

Feel the pull of the fabric that holds on
To your sweet smelling skin
Smell the air around you that breathes in me
See the dilation in your eyes when I pass by
Still wondering and wonder why

Hold your hands up and see your fingers
How long its been since they've been there
Nails that bite the senses out of me
Eyes that kill with a solemn stare
And the forgotten truth or dare

Get off from the usual and look around
As the armor grows stronger by the day
So will the shell and your dismay
Feel the pressure of the heaving breath
Say an aah and cometh

Ten years from now you will look back
To the times lost and friends who were
You would still smell the same
And your eyes with a dimmer solemn though
Asking questions as to why?

Feel the pull of the fabric that holds on
To the foreplay dying to happen
Change the music
Play the side B now
For the songs on A are over

Love in Thin Air

2007-03-16T18:08:00.000+05:30

Making love out of thin air
You're criminally in despair
Got some? Give some
For so much I can care

Look at your sleepless eyes
And the fucked up mind full of lies
True to your own fantasies
False to my reality

Don't look too far
For it's right besides you
And your door left ajar
With chances few

Coming over in audio
With a wincing orgasm
I will shatter you to pieces
And your sadism

Making love out of thin air
You're criminally in despair
Got some? Give some
For so much I can care

Ghost of Friday

2007-03-15T20:19:00.000+05:30

Buried in dark layers of time
Lies the captivated soul of a lifeless man
Roaming around and doing nothing
With acts of weirdness no one understands
It's about a ghost of a Friday
Waiting out to be set free
By the witch-queen of an unquenched desire
Who not Knowing what to do
Keeps the ghost buried in the grave
Of a man wanting to die for and brave

Quirkiness of lying down naked but on the other side
And a passage of time splitting a distance
Owning and making the ghost do the act
That dies when its time to enact
Fear lays around like a smog over the city
Choking the innocuous feeling of wanting to die for
Remorse of getting over the living
And hurting with the eyes and acts unforgiving
Keeps the ghost buried in the grave
Of a soul wanting to escape and fly

Song no.4

2007-03-15T09:42:00.000+05:30

There was a Saturday morning
Staring at the cars go by
The sunshine is here right besides me
Clouds outside can protest in vain
Silent onlookers can see nothing
But your fingers find your way to mine
Wish the moment could last a little longer
Until there was no concept of time
The feeling would just get a little stronger
And your eyes would dim and my heartbeats climb
Forsaken place I did go there
But after that you took me nowhere
And I can can tell you it will kill you
For the feeling of me would linger forever
You can always feel my shadow around you
And my words would haunt you in my rhymes

Here am now and its gonna be a Friday
For everyone else just another day
Thinking about how time flies
And preparing myself to sever a piece of me
Pretending that it would not do damage
Is like a blind man telling the colors
In my mind in one corner
I can stare at the permanent imprint
Of your hand and a beautiful face
You will not leave without a trace
There will be a trail behind me
That I can always walk it back
But it would be so more alone
And time is like a heart attack
I want to listen to it one last time
For the song no.4 would never play again

Euthanasia

2007-03-13T17:52:00.000+05:30

Slowly and steadily I wanna make you my friend
For I need someone to walk me till the end
You could be someone heaven sent
The one I'd take my memories along

Give me all your pains and I'll take them with my open arms
Until I can take no more
And life would get thinner
I want you to sign it across my heart
That you'd be my mercy killer

You're already my friend and I know
Even if you talk to me so cold and don't show
Stop pretending that you got something for me
For it's all or nothing in me

Give me all your worries and I'll be a part
Speak up your voice and make a start
Until I would want my mind to feel all unclear
I want you to sign it across my heart
That you'd be my mercy killer

Split

2007-03-10T21:44:00.000+05:30

In bits and pieces I'm torn apart
Don't even know when did it start
Traveled down this road so far now
Denial would kill me
Unless you stop my heart
Like a step-wise strip tease
And my eyes covered
You slipped inside me
With slimy ease
Won't be hurt if you go away
For it's beyond simple pleasure
And an xcruciating pain
Like dark clouds
Bearing an endless rain
You've crossed the sea
Amidst the waves of desire
Make me cut you deep
And the split between...

First Class Lover

2007-03-05T19:14:00.000+05:30

I can only be your first class lover
No matter what it is up with you
How does it matter if it's under cover
I'm still the same with you
You can't never treat me so lame
For thats not how I play
You made me play your game
Now don't break the rules

If I can't be your first class lover
You still cannot treat me this way
For I am still for each other
I can protect your name
You're hidden like my love
Burning like a struggling flame
Trying to coop up with a storm
Wish I could be so tame

I can only be a first class lover
No matter if you keep me awake
It can't be just like that
For it's too much a lie for you to fake...

Captivate Me

2007-03-04T01:00:00.000+05:30

Time was like a slippery snake
Without letting know it made an escape
If it happens like this may be once or twice
Like an unfound love it would just die
Captivate me my love
Cuz that is when my love shines
Own me and capture me
With my hands tied behind
Don't walk away to your door
And wave me back goodbye
Take me into your room and
Make my wetness feel so dry
Captivate me my love
For that is what you want to do
Make me love and suck me dry
For am so easy don't need to try
Touch of your skin and your sweet within
Made me feel I want to cry
You're so reckless in my dreams
Got no reason to be shy
Captivate me my love
Open your arms and seek my love
I'm open like a freshly cut wound
Just let your blood flow in me

Drive

2007-02-22T16:01:00.000+05:30

Driving back home with the Venus in the sky
It keeps looking back and so does my eyes
I ain't reaching home
And I am scared I ain't going anywhere
Road is ever turning and so dry
Like the burning eyes
Of a tear-less cry
The day eludes me
As I lay in mercy of an endless night
I can't see no horizon and nor the sun
Though Venus is still in the sky
This can't be real
This must be a lie
Oh I see someone over there
Waving hands and stopping me
But in the night hallucination is more than real
Am still driving home
And will wait for it to come
But why is the Venus still staring at me?
I'll change roads now
And will drive to my own horizon
Where I can step aside
Ask the night to leave me
And leave me for good...

Redefinition

2007-02-19T17:05:00.000+05:30

Can I redefine the definition of love
Can I change the meaning too
Can I put your trust all above
And not be afraid of loving you
Can I hold you in my arms
Like anybody else
Can you make me feel calm
Like the sea of tranquility
I know I don't fit the pigeon hole
Of what we call society
Call me deviant or mad
Its too late for me to change
You're the best thing that ever happened to me
I don't think there is something called fate
For I forced myself in
Can you still stand in front of me
Like you used to do
And I could talk to you and stare
And wished nobody else was there
I know its some kind of love
But I got no form to it
Its getting murkier now
As you walk away
And I lose my sight of you
You'd never ever had thought
That I'd love you...

Cold War

2007-02-19T16:56:00.000+05:30

Sparked off from a far off territory
Where neither you nor I belong
But we just shared this place
Just for a few moments
And were taken away
To an undulated place
Where the perspective is as distorted
As reality is
From the dimensions that go beyond comprehension
And every word is an apprehension
Where faith died a gory death
And trust left us alone
And so came silence following on
With a black veil and singing a funeral song
Making and then breaking it
Sounds such a fun game
Until you are just an observer
And the list is missing your name
Where can you ever find this dichotomy
Of burning in a cold war?

Your fiery hell

2007-02-15T18:00:00.000+05:30

Wanna share something with you love
'Cuz my mind has been undercover
I don't mind being blatant
For this is in me and sizzling latent
Smear your lipstick on my back
Kiss me there until my heart attacks
Sweat me up and make me mad
I want you happy and never sad

Been just hearing your side
I was waiting and biding my time
My private space oh so often you invade
You would not make me a jade
Tear my clothes and swear on my back
Until I can shake you in your shack
Make me until more than I ever had
I want you happy and never sad

Could not bear your last caress
As it was so close but my mind was a mess
But slowly like a creeper
It has grown over me
I trust you my sweet goddess
For punish me for all my sins
Kiss and tell
And take me to your fiery hell

I trust your lies

2007-02-13T18:48:00.000+05:30

Every word you say I hear it anyway
Every thing you do I can see it clearly
Don't have to splice and dice to uncover you
Even then there is something about you

I trust your lies
Your sweet disguise
Those lying eyes
I put my faith
Neither love nor hate
It's a darker shade

Every time you move away I just let you go
Neither stop you nor scream nor I say no
Don't have to spend my time with you
More times than anyone I am still with you

I trust your lies
Your sweet disguise
Those lying eyes
I put my pride
Now got nothing to hide
It's an over-expose

Too late...

2007-02-13T18:20:00.000+05:30

It started all so cold
And slowly melted away
It could've simmered a little longer
But time was in your way

I could see that in your eyes
That you didn't want to go away
Next time make it sure
That I am there to stay

For a moment in the elevator
I thought I could get too close
And run away with a kiss
Now I realize what I got to miss

Your fingers were playing with your hair
My eyes with yours
As sometimes my hand sometimes touched you
It made me kind of shiver

The background music playing
Stole some time away from me
But the notes were clear enough
Only that you didn't hear

Your pride and the wall
That you've built around yourself
Can only stop you from coming
To my secret world

Share it as long as it lasts
For I ain't gonna wait
I don't wanna you miss me
For it would be too late

Can your lover?

2007-02-12T16:57:00.000+05:30

I'll not even ask you whats in your mailbox
Neither will ask you where you've been
I don't even know to whom you belong to
I don't even care about your friends
I'll make you crazy whenever you ask for
You'll never have to plead again
I'll let you dig your nails into my skin
Even if you never want to see me again
I won't stop if you want to cry
Neither will laugh at the things you do
You can call me at whatever is your time
And I'll make you feel just fine
These are just a few little things that I can
Can your lover do these thngs to you?

You Smell The Soul Out Of Me

2007-02-09T16:12:00.000+05:30

Every little twitch that I make
You can feel it as it happens
Every fingernail that glides over you
You feel it like a jealous mother
Am sliding through this endless black hole
As you smell the soul out of me

The smiles got a hidden veil
Over the blood turned water
And the so often sinned devil
You know my every single scar
And every square inch
As you smell the soul out of me

On a hot bed of candles
And the mind like a sickle
My denial to you
Would violate your pleasure principle
I give in each and every time
As you smell the soul out of me

Of all positions that you make
I like it while I can't see
For it loosens my mind
With someone else in me
As I lie down tired
You smell the soul out of me

Come on-line...

2007-02-06T17:58:00.001+05:30

As I look into the corner of my screen
Waiting 4U 2 get connected
U've got me kind of affected
If not real but in a dream
My emotions R so unprotected
I try to find someone else
And try 2 feel connected
I try hard 2 fool myself
But I know U got me infected
Am not gonna sleep, not 2day until I find U connected
I had so much in my mind with whatever 4U I could find
Accumulated in my corner were some feelings 4U 2 remind
Just feel my love 4U
Crossing zones of time may B UR online
And I could make U feel so fine
Just close your eyes and forget existence
Am gonna make U come, online
Oh so much 2 say 2U why don't U come and get connected . . . .

A Near Miss

2007-02-05T19:40:00.000+05:30

Wish I could breathe down your neck
With my fingers encircling your hair
And could kiss you
Like a desirous despair
Wish I could hold you in my arms
As you crumble into pieces
And I pick them up
To make a love sign
Wish I could catch you all unaware
With nobody else in here
And lesser you'd care
And last time if you'd missed it
This time you'd kiss it

You don't even know

2007-02-05T19:39:00.000+05:30

My lips wanna feel the arrogance
That comes out of yours
My mouth wanna suck out the pain
That lives in your confusion
The touch of reality
Is hitting you too hard
The fantasy insanity is freaking you out
My hands wanna touch the roughness of your insides
My tongue wanna taste the bitterness
That you've been saving all along
The artificial veil above you
Is showing the entrapped mind
You're so naked in front of me
And you don't even know